Simplicity Parenting Talk with Kim John Payne
Using the Extraordinary Power of Less
to Raise Calmer, Happier and More Secure Kids
with Kim John Payne
Tuesday, March 6, 7:00 p.m.
57 Desert Road, Freeport
$10 at the door
“TOO MUCH, TOO FAST, TOO SOON” CREATES STRESS FOR KIDS
Family counselor Kim John Payne says that when he would take on a new client, he would offer them a year of therapy or have him spending just one day at their house. “Many of today’s behavioral issues come from children having too much stuff and living a life that is too fast. I would visit from breakfast to bedtime, I helped the parents simplify their routines and lives and very often the parents see an improvement their child’s behavior within days,” says Payne.
Payne asserts that many of today’s child behavior problems comes from TMS - Too Much Stuff. “All children are quirky, that’s what makes them lovable, who they are. But these cumulative stresses slide those quirks along the behavior spectrum into disorders – the dreaded “Ds”. Simplicity Parenting is a way to slide the child back down the spectrum. They go from having a label back to being lovable and quirky.”
Payne has traveled through Asia and Africa helping families devastated by AIDS or war. He says children in western countries have many of the same stresses – but for the opposite reasons. “There is not a lot of difference between how kids over stressed are acting in parts of Asia and Africa. “The children in the developing world often have had negative sensory overwhelm, and we give our children sensory overwhelm here – too many trinkets, too many choices, too much information – and this causes a cumulative stress issue in kids that leads to behavioral disorders.” “Our children are living in the undeclared war on childhood.”
Payne will help parents at the talk create their own Simplicity Menu for their family, breaking it down into five layers: Simplify the environment (books, toys etc), meal times and food, schedules and information. He asks that parents see childhood as an unfolding experience, not an enrichment opportunity. “If it is an enrichment opportunity, then we’re in an arms race, trying to get the most for our child. This is fundamentally a con, and not healthy. “
He adds that children respond well to this approach. “You choose whatever fits naturally in your family life. When a family simplifies, the kids love it. It’s not a battle. We think kids will put up resistance but they don’t; they like it.”
“It’s about warmth and connecting. In simplifying parenting we get closer to our children, they no longer have to fight for our attention, everything becomes easier and it is actually achieved by doing less.
You can read more on Kim's website: www.simplicityparenting.com.
Kim John Payne Biography
Kim John Payne, M.ED, has been a family & school counselor, adult educator, consultant, researcher for twenty seven years. He regularly gives key note addresses at international conferences for educators, parents, and therapists and runs workshops and training’s around the world. He is a consultant and trainer to over 110 U.S. independent and public schools. In each role, he has been helping children, adolescents and families explore issues such as social difficulties with siblings and classmates, attention and behavioral issues at home and school, emotional issues such as defiance, aggression, addiction and self-esteem and the vital role living a balanced simple life brings.
G 12 to Hermit Island for Marine Biology:
Sun, Sept 14 - Fri, Sept 15. Merriconeag seniors join seniors from other eastern seaboard Waldorf schools for a week of Marine Biology at beautiful Hermit Island.
Tues, Sept 16, 6:15 pm
G 2, 5, & 6 Parent Evenings:
Wed, Sept 17, 7:00 pm.
MS XC Race :
Thurs, Sept 18, MS XC race at Gull Crest Field in Cape Elizabeth. Cape hosts Merriconeag, Greely, Jordan Small (Raymond), and Waynflete. Boys run at 4 pm, girls at 4:30. Come on out and cheer for our middle school teams!
HS XC Race :
Fri, Sept 19. HS XC race at Freeport. Freeport hosts Merriconeag, Poland and York. Boys race at 4:30, girls at 5. We hope to see you there!
Class Photo Day:
Tues, Sept 23. (Rain date: Wed, Sept 24)
G 7 Parent Evening:
Tues, Sept 23, 7:00 pm - Grade 7 Parent Evening.
The Gift of a Commercial-Free Childhood:
Wed, Oct 8, 7 pm.
Community Hall, 57 Desert Rd, Freeport.
Donation at the door.
Dr. Susan Linn, Director of The Campaign for a Commercial-Free Childhood & Instructor in Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School will discuss the commercialization of childhood and ways to protect our children.