Simplicity Parenting Talk with Kim John Payne

Simplicity Parenting

Using the Extraordinary Power of Less

to Raise Calmer, Happier and More Secure Kids

with Kim John Payne

Tuesday, March 6, 7:00 p.m.

57 Desert Road, Freeport

           $10 at the door

“TOO MUCH, TOO FAST, TOO SOON” CREATES STRESS FOR KIDS
Simplify Your Child’s Life, says internationally recognized author & counselor

     Family counselor Kim John Payne says that when he would take on a new client, he would offer them a year of therapy or have him spending just one day at their house. “Many of today’s behavioral issues come from children having too much stuff and living a life that is too fast. I would visit from breakfast to bedtime, I helped the parents simplify their routines and lives and very often the parents see an improvement their child’s behavior within days,” says Payne.

     Payne asserts that many of today’s child behavior problems comes from TMS - Too Much Stuff. “All children are quirky, that’s what makes them lovable, who they are. But these cumulative stresses slide those quirks along the behavior spectrum into disorders – the dreaded “Ds”. Simplicity Parenting is a way to slide the child back down the spectrum. They go from having a label back to being lovable and quirky.”

Payne has traveled through Asia and Africa helping families devastated by AIDS or war. He says children in western countries have many of the same stresses – but for the opposite reasons. “There is not a lot of difference between how kids over stressed are acting in parts of Asia and Africa. “The children in the developing world often have had negative sensory overwhelm, and we give our children sensory overwhelm here – too many trinkets, too many choices, too much information – and this causes a cumulative stress issue in kids that leads to behavioral disorders.” “Our children are living in the undeclared war on childhood.”

Payne will help parents at the talk create their own Simplicity Menu for their family, breaking it down into five layers: Simplify the environment (books, toys etc), meal times and food, schedules and information. He asks that parents see childhood as an unfolding experience, not an enrichment opportunity. “If it is an enrichment opportunity, then we’re in an arms race, trying to get the most for our child. This is fundamentally a con, and not healthy. “

He adds that children respond well to this approach. “You choose whatever fits naturally in your family life. When a family simplifies, the kids love it. It’s not a battle. We think kids will put up resistance but they don’t; they like it.”

“It’s about warmth and connecting. In simplifying parenting we get closer to our children, they no longer have to fight for our attention, everything becomes easier and it is actually achieved by doing less.

You can read more on Kim's website: www.simplicityparenting.com.

Kim John Payne Biography

     Kim John Payne, M.ED, has been a family & school counselor, adult educator, consultant, researcher for twenty seven years. He regularly gives key note addresses at international conferences for educators, parents, and therapists and runs workshops and training’s around the world. He is a consultant and trainer to over 110 U.S. independent and public schools. In each role, he has been helping children, adolescents and families explore issues such as social difficulties with siblings and classmates, attention and behavioral issues at home and school, emotional issues such as defiance, aggression, addiction and self-esteem and the vital role living a balanced simple life brings.
      He has also consulted for educational associations in South Africa, Hungary, Israel, Russia, Switzerland, Ireland, Canada, Australia, and the United Kingdom. Kim has worked extensively with the North American and UK Waldorf educational movements. He has served as Director of the Collaborative Counseling program at Antioch University New England. He is Co Director of the Simplicity Project a multi media social network that explores what really connects and disconnects us to ourselves and to the world. Kim is the Founding Director of The Center for Social Sustainability.
      In addition to authoring Simplicity Parenting, www.simplicityparenting.com published by Ballantine Books/Random House in 2009, he is also the author of The Games Children Play, (1996) published by Hawthorn Press and is presently working on a other titles – The Soul of Discipline and also Whole Child Sports. How to Navigate Child & Youth Sports.
      He has appeared on frequently on television including ABC, NBC, CBS, Fox; on radio with the BBC, Sirius/XM, CBC & NPR and in print including being featured in Time Magazine, Chicago Tribune, Parenting, Mothering, Times Union and the LA Times.
      Kim strives to deepen understanding and give practical tools for life that arise out of the burning social issues of our time. He is based in Northampton, Massachusetts with his wife and two children.